Recordare... · hey · what · was · that · again?

I had a long talk after Counterpoint today with Prof. Doherty about my frustrations with Prof. Forte. She offered to do what she could, which is really just being a sounding board and an attentive ear and extra idiot-proof editor brain to help me get ym plans going and give me some feedback on my opera and other compositions that Forte won't look at. She's my saving grace.

Oh, and I registered for the wrong music tech class. I'm kinda glad I got to drop something though; I was beginning to feel overwhelmed.

I still have ALOT of parts to print out. Hopefully I'll get that done after dinner. And the word document for the Composer's Forum. And figure out what homework I have. And finish Divine Showers. And begin the brass sketch.

Well, at least I feel better today.

I just went to my lesson. I had been an ass last semester to Prof. Forte. I acknowledge that. So in order to prove my worth as a unique composer and show him that I am eager to get things done and build a strong protfolio and learn how to market myself as a composer from his own advice, I busted my ass and composed a 1 and 1/2 inch ring binder full of music this Christmas break (I only usually fill up a 1 inch binder at most in a semester). And I have mounted an extensive campaign, organized and counciled COMPLETELY on my ignorant-own, to get all my pieces performed. And I'm THIS close to finishing another aria. That's not easy. I didn't have a break because I was doing all this stuff. I do it for myself and because I think it will be a significant contribution to the musical community at large. I put the binder down in front of Forte, and he didn't look at it. No flipping through, not even the cursory, "oh, that's good". Nothing. I had four other binders with me containing the trilogy of operas and I was ready to go and talk about the opera, to inlist some desperately needed help, and the other pieces I've written and made nice clean parts for. I even took charge of the conversation that he usually lets wander and started to explain my plan and ask his thoughts on it, which others had reccomended for me to do to get more consice responses out of him. Nope. First thing on the docket: he wants a new piece from me. A brass piece, because my portfolio lacks that. And maybe a huge orchestral piece. Because "I have that kind of potential". Why can't he see the potential of well done ink and smaller ensembles. Why can't he acknowledge that I've done something good already? Why does he have to try to make me in his image, and distract me from learning how to write good ink for writing crap for a bunch of different sounds that give me headaches because I have to deal with synaethesia and his beloved tone color in instruments is pedestrian, dated, and painful for me. I know I could write for a sloppy huge orchestra if I wanted to. But I *despise* that Neo romantic sound. I want the ink itself, regardless of the instruments, to sound good. And I want the damn opera I've been working on for four years, that superior men like Sheldon Harnick and John Duffy we stunned by, to be recognized as something of worth to someone other than myself!

It's the first day back and this one event has made me rue all the hard work I put in to get myself back to CNU. I already feel like I want to be in tears.

So I just watched Beyond Re Animator. I enjoyed the irony, and Jeffery Combs was cute and snarky, and the plot behind the re-agent was even pretty good. Even the music scoring was more than decent. Perhaps clever itself. However, I must say, I still don't sit very well with gory movies. There was an unneccesary amount of violence to drive the real plot and over sexed scenes- all, I assume, in an effort to "entertain". Zombies... kinda bloody... entertaining because they're stupid yet iminently deadly. Bloody half-corpses still walking around as active characters, not so hot.

Oh well. I think perhaps the original will be funnier (fresher writing and cheesy special effects). We'll see.

I went to see "The First Emperor" broadcast from the Met today with Scott. It was long. The singers were great. The writing wasn't so fabulous. The set was ingenious. It was hilarious hanging out with him for the first time in a while. We laugh at the same things. Sometimes... inappropriately. But that's okay.

I had coffee afterward, and I was tired of listening to the same tapes in my car (even though I did just get three new tapes of the Phillip Glass Opera "Akhnaten"... but that's minimalist, so it kind of only counts as one tape at the most) so I drove over to Planet Music hoping to pick up a few generic classical music cassettes, so I have something to listen to once the home made ones I have crap out on me, and pack up my stuff at my Dad's place. While I was there, I figured I'd look for one of the Re Animator movies. Apparently there are four, and no video store called in the area had any of them. Good ol' Planet Music, cassettes for about 2 bucks each, BEYOND RE ANIMATOR, and a DVD of a modernized production of Handel's Guilio Caesar (I want to see how this is done in contrast to the met production above). I am happy.

In contrast, I'm nervous about gearing up for school again. I have alot on my plate this semester. And it's unfamiliar work at that. I actually have to deal with people now to get stuff done. But I'm trusting that the performers I've asked to work with me, whom I've seen good and hard things from before, will be on board with me to make something good out of what I've written so far... or at least want a recording of a role they will have the rights to say they created and have a copy of a good performance for their portfolios.

PS Kayleigh, I was inspired to get a YouTube account by your humble offering and now have numerous clips of Re Animator, many that you would enjoy musically... how do I share them with you?

I am so close to finishing this piece for next semester... but there's just not something good enough about it. There's something I'm having trouble picking up on and fixing. I can't put my finger on it and it's discouraging. I suppose I'll just keep chiping away at it. I'm dreading picking up work on the string quartet when I get back. I have absolutely no idea what to do with the last three movements beyond the sketches I've already done. Bah.

Also, my pants are discouraging. I look forward to walking more once I'm back on campus.

I FINALLY got my iPod to work. I originally synched stuff from my windows media player that was unusable, even though it took up over half my memory. So I had to wipe the whole thing, which only happened after I spent two hours downloading the software to do that from iTunes. Oh well, it works quite nicely now. It will be really nice to walk around with music.

I hope I don't go too stir crazy without a roommate this semester.

PS I still need to see the Reanimator. I'm having Jeffery Combs withdraws

I am looking forward to getting back to CNU so much that I'm making a color coded schedule of my classes. It's like a victory map of my newly conqured territory. However, it still needs to be restructured, which is code for me going to classes and getting acceptable marks.

I will miss my giant blocks of star trek in the afternoon though. But that's okay; I have new things to occupy me.

I met an old friend at Barnes and Nobel today. We talked for about three hours straight, mostly about music geek stuff and just living. It was quite nice, and hopefully I'll be driving up to see him again at VCU sometime soonish. While I was there I found two nice bargain books, a translation of "the Book of the Dead" (Which apparently is more correctly translated "the Book of Life Coming Into the Light"), and a basic book on reading Tarot. Now if I can only figure out where I put my deck that I brought home for the holidays....

Oh, and my little (I thought it was going to be bigger) museum reproduction statue of Sekhmet came today. I am thoroughly satisfied with the quality of its carved detail, which I was worried about. It's superb, actually. I fear that the author of the Book of the Living/ Dead translation I just bought is quite morally prejudiced in favor of the Egyptian religion, but I believe he will provide a more coherent viewpoint and something of the warmth and genuine... -ness that the scholastic approaches I have seen seem to lack. Hopefully, that will make up for the ethnocentric viewpoint of the authors.

Also... I need to see the ReAnimator. Soon.

I have mentally thrashed and verbally sparred my way through vast seas of diverse beauracratic life forms, and I have now proven myself worthy. I have a fully functional and graduating-on-time responsible schedule in place. I WILL be coming back to CNU. HA.

Thank you. Cosmos, for not smacking me down. I know you could if you wanted to, so I appreciate your discretion and consideration on this one topic.

To celebrate, here is my new LJ Icon depicting Capt. Picard reliving a tramatic moment in his past and laughing about it, because he now realizes that it was all just a simulation by the aliens.

Haha.

... please cease killing Horatio's love interest eight hours after they have been married. This is far too distressing, and I will not have it. You must immediately replace the aforesaid ill-fated Marisol with another pretty yet witty cancer survivor. If I do not see progress in the next episode of this replacement, as blissful as the original Marisol-Horatio development, I will launch a skud into your writer's offices. And I will temporarily refuse to watch the reruns on A&E. We both know, neither of us wants that.

Why can't the pretty man be happy?

Sincerely,
Requiemk626

My checks form Sally Mae came in to the registrar's office just now. I'll be able to drive up and sign off on them tomorrow, and register for classes on Wednesday.

I've never felt such relief. I have been thoroughly humbled with this transfer experience. I think I've learned to appreciate what I have now.

So It is time again for me to use LJ for therapy.

First:

My mother told me, regarding her date-age, that she dates many because she hasn't found the one. Well, yes, that generally is what normal people use the conventional one-at-a-time system for as well. This falls on deaf ears.

The guy she spent New Years with told her he has two ticket to Disney world.

Disney world? Are you fucking kidding me, you 40 some year old man child? Kayleigh, why why WHY CAN DISNEY NOT LEAVE MY HOME LIFE????!!!! Only you know the universe's cruel irony on this point. Now where did I leave that rusty pointed pipe.....

Second:

My deadline to register for classes for Spring (yes, as in right now) is Wed to the end of the week. I have to wait for my loan company to send the money to CNU first so I can sign the check and release the funds before I can get that loan off my record and register. Time is ticking away and I am worried. I have never played a game this dangerous with my classes... there is a very good possibility that third parties will screw me over and I will not be able to come back to CNU next semester. Yet again, where did I leave that rusty shard of metal?

And I think my dog is going deaf.

I suppose I'm going to go get food now and hope that it doesn't make me sick (as has every meal for the last two days.... thank you, poor digestive genetics.)

Here is where I display my love for Horatio Cane. Though it's a little blurry. And yes, even his horribly, horribly written one-liners. Only David Caruso is allowed to get away with that. And Daniel Davids. Because somehow their aura of awesomeness makes up for their actual quantitative awesomeness.

So I feel pretty much like my old self after a bit of chatting with Leo and Justin. Friends are good therapy. I am giddy that I have had a week of visits and it is not over yet. Yay for platonic kinds of love.

Present time again Kayleigh!!!

Enjoy the fruits of my aimless existance on LJ

Alright. I'm done sulking. I'm going to get myself together.

First, I'm going to get the markings together on that nasty duet I wrote. And print the parts.

Then I'm going to make further plans for the completion of the opera. I'm going to plug in the rest of the sketches I made in highschool, and work on smoothing those out. Then I'm going to start writing key recitatives that will carry rhetorical and reusable themes for reference throughout the opera, so I can start stitching the logic of it together musically. I can at least write recits if I'm not up to doing entire arias. Well, there is that one I have still brewing.

Damn, I have to work out Divine Showers still if I want Ern to sing it this semester.

Well, I'll do all that.

Just thinking out loud, btw... helps my confidence and flow of thought.

Then..... I need to get online and scout out conferences this summer, in and out of country. I'm still going to shoot for Cortona this summer, but, that is rather expensive (though uber fun) and I'm not sure I have anything ready that would work for them (unless I finish and then revamp The Faithful....ick, that's alot of work) or I'd have to write something new (which would be hard to do without Brian's guidance). But, at least I remember some chamber music conferences that happen over the summer, for like string quartets and stuff, and I have two mvmts that need to be performed for a string quartet...... well, hm.... I... yeah. I can do that. I just have to find them and sign up.

Hello google.

And I'm going to go for a run this morning.

I will not give in to mediocrity. I will work my butt off, and damn it, I will get into those upper eschelons.

Btw, PS, look into film scoring. That might be our easiest ticket.

Oh, PS, look up Edinburgh and start plotting to find their weak spot and blow away their admissions process.

Oh, and the new pic.... well, that's a pic of the guy who played Niles on the Nanny. He was on Broadway, and get this, he's not English, he's actually Southern!!! Anyway, he's cool.

Oh, PS again, I saw the end of The Producers with Nathan Lane. OMG I have to see that whole thing. I laughed so hard...

Just watched the Screen Actors Guild formal nominations announcement. And guess who got nominations for leading roles in a TV movie? Huh, huh?

JEREMY IRONS

and HELEN MIRREN (also for Elizabeth II)

I love these people. Not to mention the characters they play.

Get 'em.

God, I have to get into this area some how. Film scores, here I come....